Craft of the Wise

Ancient knowledge for today's times

the daily humorscopes for october 23

the daily humorscope

for october 23, 2010

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
You will finally find your spirit guide today, and your life will take on new meaning. Unfortunately for you, your spirit guide will turn out to have a sense of humor
.Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Today you will be watched by cats. It’s nothing really worth worrying about, I’m sure. Did you know that you’ve started making little unconscious “squeaks” when you’re concentrating on something
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Good day to begin writing that book you’ve been planning — “Growing Radishes Indoors.” It’s an idea whose time has come.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
It’s time to stop beating around the bush. Move on to beating around the ornamental shrubbery.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
It’s about time you became better acquainted with mustard. Get yourself 7 different kinds of mustard, and try them with oven baked home fried potatoes, or in sandwiches with good bread and fresh vegetables and some excellent Swiss cheese. My granddaddy Stonebender always used to say “Take a big enough bite of strong mustard, and your other problems will seem insignificant.”
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
You should give your car a name, so people will be more impressed when you give them a ride. I think you should call yours “The Federation Starship Intrepid.” And always do that little two-finger wave and say “engage”, when you start off, of course.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You will have more psychotronic energy today than usual. I recommend that you direct it towards the fridge. There’s something alive in there.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You will call someone today, who will insist on calling you “Sven”. Humor them — act impressed that they know your “real” name.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Excellent day for a bubble bath. If you don’t have a little yellow rubber ducky, you’ll need to get that first, of course.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
To your chagrin and horror, you will find yourself humming along with “muzac” in the grocery store. It’s the beginning of the long slow slide, I’m afraid. Next stop: collecting “nick knacks”.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
You will become trapped in the sofa, again. People will point and laugh.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
About your new idea… Sure, I’ll bet you could sell your handmade voodoo dolls by marketing them over the Internet. The competition, however, can be “fierce”. You might want to stop and consider how many flights of stairs you’re interested in falling down, before you commit yourself to that course of action…

 

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October 18, 2010 - Posted by | Daily Posts

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